I suppose I should start this off by saying not every plus-sized girl has had the same dating experience as I have had. Plenty of women have found it somewhat easy to date. My sister, Kate, was married at 20 (Yea, we both look back at that like DAMN, you were YOUNG!). My other sister, Jo, had met her husband at 21, but what about the rest of us not-so-early bloomers in the dating world? I’ve always been a little leery of dating. I’ve gone through similar problems that other girls have gone through: guys who treat you badly, men who only want a physical relationship (which I never gave in to). For the last couple of years of high school and the early years of college I was head over heels for a guy we’ll call Mark. Mark was charismatic, flirtatious, and made you feel like you were the only girl in the room. The problem? He did this with many girls, including some of my closest friends, and for a majority of the time he had a girl friend. Why, oh why, did I like this guy? Because he was the only guy to give me attention. I feel lucky that I was able to snap out of my delusions about Mark, but at what price did this time of lusting come at? I still have issues believing that men will want anything further than a physical relationship with me. For so long I have encountered the man that wants to be with the fat girl, but not show the world that he IS with the fat girl. This hit on my self-esteem has definitely left me reeling into years of issues with self-worth, hatful feelings towards men, and in general a lack of trust in the goodness of people. I cannot count the number of guys I have talked to or gone on dates with that have either treated me bad or cut it after the first date because of my size.

The good news? Things do get better, as long as you don’t let yourself be trampled on by ill-intentioned men. There are good ones out there, but it took me a long time to believe it. I recently rejoined an online dating website. I’ve definitely had to sift through the guys who were not there to get to know me and only wanted to “hook-up,” but the experience seems to be getting better. A guy has just recently started to talk to me on there. I could tell he was different the minute we started corresponding. He really has taken the time to slow down to get to know me. Compliments me on my looks and other qualities. Does not qualify any compliments by “although you’re chubby,” “I’m not attracted to fat people, but…” I hope things progress with him in a very positive way. But if somehow it doesn’t go further, I still have hope that someone will fall in love with me, because I’m finally falling in love with myself.

Picture from The Museum of Fat Love:

I have hope!

Sorry if I’ve gotten all corny on you all, but I’m starting to realize that I’m just not as scared now that I’ve accepted myself, my body. Have any of you tried the online dating scene? Any big hits or misses?