Hey guys! I haven’t written a post like this in a looong time, but of course I love the opportunity to reflect on things that have happened in my life and things I enjoy. I first saw the concept of this post on Amelia Pontes’ blog long ago, and I always enjoyed seeing what she was learning and loving. Warning, long(ish) post below 🙂
Five Lessons Learned
1. Internet dating is not my thing, so I don’t need to do it anymore. I had been trying to put myself out there to date and talk with more guys via dating websites, but I’m kind of over it. I tend to feel really uncomfortable getting to know someone that way (which is a little funny since I write a blog and talk to all of you!), and all too often the guys are doing some shady things that I find out about, so I give up on dating via the internet. This decision pretty much leaves me to accept my single-ness until I meet someone in person. Giving up the belief that I need to actively search for love has freed me. I feel like I can just live life now and not worry about the fact that I’m not dating anyone. It doesn’t make me a weird person because I’m single, and it doesn’t mean I’m undesirable to others. It just means that I no longer am going to search for love in that way and that I don’t have to accept the thought that a 23 year old must be dating or looking for the “one”. Maybe someday I’ll meet someone, and maybe I won’t, and right now that’s okay.
2. Besides, all I need is puppy love. Seriously, my dog completes me. All I need is her unconditional love. It brightens my day.
3. I’m not always going to find validation for the way that I think from people who are close to me, and I have to accept that and move on. I really have an issue with needing to be accepted and validated by family and friends in my thoughts and actions. Sometimes I find myself going at great lengths to explain my decisions, especially regarding past friendships that I have cut off, to be validated in my reasoning for doing so. I know that this decision is what I want, but I really hate feeling like people disapprove. I have to get over it, because this is my life and my decision.
4. As I’m getting older, I miss the relationships I had during undergrad, but I’m realizing I can never recreate it. Sometimes I think that if I just put myself back in the situation that I was happiest in, everything will go right back to normal. But I’m different now; all of my friends are different now. So many of my closest friends are in serious, committed relationships, and that changes things. Not in a bad way, because I know they all are with great people and enjoying that part of their lives, but we’re no longer going to be all the single girls together. Their significant others are becoming their best friends, so things change. I miss it a lot, but it will never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn into something better, a deeper friendship on different terms.
5. Blogging, for me, has built my confidence, but there are times that it diminishes it. At those times, I need to reflect on what’s really bothering me, and then confront and work on resolving it. Most of the time I feel confident (or at least, some degree of confident), but then there are times I take OOTD pictures that make me dislike my appearance. Awhile ago I would have let those feelings bother me all day. I would cover up and hide myself. Now I can better recognize when it’s affecting me negatively, why, and how I can challenge it. Today I didn’t like that my face was so full in my pictures, but that’s my reality, and it doesn’t mean anything negative about me. So I’m still planning on posting them, because I have to keep pushing myself to accept myself on “good” and “bad” days.
Five Favorite Things
1. Recognizing clothes that I like (and are offered in plus-sizes!!) on T.V. shows. I was watching Glee this past week and realized that Naya Rivera was wearing the American Rag lace jacket that I posted about a few weeks ago. I got ridiculously excited about it.
Naya Rivera as Santana on Glee
2. Songs that immediately bring back memories. Target has a new commercial that plays a remixed version of a song sung by Shirley Temple. Hearing her voice immediately took me back to watching Shirley Temple movies with my grandma when I used to stay the night at her house. My grandma had a stroke when I was 5, which forever changed her personality and sometimes her ability to really communicate with me, so moments when I get lucidity about early memories with her are amazing.
(And it made me want to watch Poor Little Rich Girl)
3. Twitter. I love talking to all of you on twitter. I used to think it was the most stupid social media site, but now I love it so much more than facebook and all of that. Plus, you are all so funny and nice :).
4. The City Chic 60% off sale frenzy. The night that City Chic started their 60% off sale, my twitter was blowing up with everyone talking about what they were getting. It was fun to (kind of) get to shop with everyone since I almost always go shopping alone. I don’t have many plus-size friends that live nearby, so it was a unique experience for sure.
5. Planning trips for the summer. Every summer I try to plan a trip whether it be to somewhere far away or just a day trip. I always get anxious to travel, but grad school has kind of put a downer on that. I’m excited for this summer when I’ll get to (hopefully) go to the beach and the mountains. Plus planning the trip is always fun because it lets me escape my school reality for a bit!
What are your lessons learned and favorite things?