One of my favorite movies is You’ve Got Mail. I used to imagine myself owning the character Kathleen Kelly’s children’s book store and living in her brownstone, experiencing New York in the fall and walking to work. When I say I love this movie, I really mean it. I remember watching it with my mom, and I still to this day feel compelled to announce it to her every time I watch it. I’ve also said that if a man ever proposes to me with a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils, I will be his forever.

This movie is such a part of my identity (and my dream life) that I have quotes of it memorized, quotes that I’ve put up on my facebook profile and other places as part of “me”.

I can’t help but think of it and how I’ve seen my self and my life as I prepare to go to New York this week for Full Figured Fashion Week. I always saw myself in the background. My friends had bigger (and as I told myself–better) personalities than me, and sometimes the people I met validated that feeling.

In You’ve Got Mail, Kathleen Kelly says,

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around?

When I started blogging, my “small life” and the stories I told myself about what I could or could not do came under question. It took me awhile (and I still have plenty of moments where it takes me awhile) to realize that the stories only held me back further and that I had the potential to create new stories, to allow myself to feel differently about my self and my body and my interests.

I’m excited for New York. I’m excited that I’ve gotten to a place where I’m not scared to fly solo to New York City and meet people who I’ve never met in person before (ok, maybe I am a teensy bit). I’m excited that I now have great friends at home as well as wonderful connections to interesting women across the globe. These are things I hadn’t imagined for myself just a short couple years ago, and they are things that I don’t think I would have done even if I had the opportunity. It feels good to be brave, to do things that I always watched others do but held away from something I could do myself.

I’ll be posting more from New York City when I arrive on Tuesday, but follow me on Twitter for updates about the events I’m attending and people I’m meeting if you’re interested!

I’ve already had lots of fun picking outfits for all the events!

Is there anything you’ve done/are doing that feels brave or outside of what you thought you could do?

Do you have a goal for your future/life that you want to meet?